Hello world, its 2012 and its back to the month of january! Time really flies.

And on the last day of 2011, i spent it w my girlfs and boyfriend. This friendship has been 6years long and its amazing we still meetup every now and then so often even when we all are at different schools and schedule. Im glad we all made the effort to meetup regardless what. The support we gave each other is something we knew that we can always lean on. 6girlsz and we rule our own world! :>

And counting down w john for 3years already make me feel so glad cause our relationship survived yet another year. 2011 was pretty tough on us w more frequent quarrells which make me keep doubting are we ever gonna last but thank god for the love between us, it was strong enough :)

My family got much tighter when dad's not ard, we just have to learn and adapt to get used to the life without him considering we were all very dependent on him in the past. Its not easy but we'll come through. I still miss him almost everyday cause things everywhere make me think of him. i just need some more time to keep him in my heart instead of my mind, i promise :)

So at the last 5mins before it strike 12midnight on 31dec,i knew i was blessed enough for 2011 even though it wasnt a good year for me at all. But with these people to be in my life, im blessed enough :)

I kinda want to get through 2012 asap so that i'll get to see whats in for me but (so as they say that world ends this year's dec) i guess i'll learn to slow down my pace, appreciate my surroundings and live life to fullest in every possible ways. Afterall, smtg i've learnt in 2011 was that being able to wake up every morning and see the sun is a bonus and im not gonna ask for more :)

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Last paper of my sem2, yayeeeness to holidays and festives in 6hrs time (considering paper is gonna be from 7-10pm! Tskkk)

Anws, i think alot recently. I guess dramas and Tv shows do reflects some part of reality in them. Thats why i always ponder much after watching episodes. And most pondering leads to negatives thoughts like:

1. What if my relationship gonna last another 10more years then to realise its not gonna work out.
2. What if im diagnosed with cancer or any illness in my twenties
3. What if im married and i can never have kids
4. What if i got into a car accident and died in the nxt few hrs and leave in regrets

And so on.... Hahahahah told you all negatives one pls! Dont say it will never happen cause the unexpected and dramatic no.2 happened to someone i love and all along i thought it was just a scene in dramas. Im praying in every ways that thats not gonna ever happen ever again, i cant take it again. Lifes so fragile that im realllly scared.

If i had a wish, i would wish that i can see whats mine whole life timeline. So that i'll be prepared for whatever come what may. Im that kind of loser that if smtg big happened suddenly and off my guard, i'll not be able to take it. I dont like surprises (in a bad way). So i rather fast forward everything so that i know whats in the front of my life instead of now, unsure uncertain about whats gonna happen next in my life mode.

But at the same time, i dont really want to grow up. I want to enjoy every year. As one said before " theres only gonna be one 18yrs one 21yrs one 25yrs" once you missed it, you'll never get it back ever sooooo just live each year to daaaa fullest!

Aye as contradicting as this whole entry is, no emo thoughts before exam pls hahahah. Immma gonna leave my 21st year to da fullest in all possible ways :)

Wish me luck for paper! xx

P.s feel like switching over to tumblr ehhhh hahahahahah.

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